Father’s Day Marketing

Father’s Day is a nice marketing opportunity. It makes the men feel not left out. If provides a nice income stream to tide merchants over the dry season between Mother’s Day and the 4th of July. Most of the stuff advertised is a good example of marketeers trying to create demand where there is none.

Case in point is men’s shaving products, bought by women for men: preshave, lotion, cream, aftershave, and so forth. I don’t know of anyone that uses the stuff, at least, not anyone I’d admit to knowing. Decades ago, my then-fiancee sent me some of these products for my birthday. In my youth and innocence I tried them, following the instructions on the box. The result? People were coming in from the hallway saying “What’s that smell?” Face it. That stuff is perfume for men, and should be applied in the same way – a dab behind each ear and one in the cleavage, if you can reach around that far.

Case in point is manly BBQ gear. Not so much the grills, they almost rate as consumer durables and so are too expensive for mere Father’s Day gifts, but the accessories. Men see themselves as primal beasts, bravely searing large chunks of meat over an open fire, just like great^12 grandfather Ugg did. For large chunks of meat you need large tools. Two foot long forks with four inch tines, as a peavey to stab and roll that side of beef. Eighteen inch tongs to reach through the flames. Two inch diameter BBQ sauce brushes to slather the sauce on like you had been hired by Tom Sawyer. Well, no. If you have that kind of flames, you need an Amerex product, not something by Weber, or God Help Us, this monstrosity. Standard kitchen tongs work fine. A granny fork is the biggest thing you need, or maybe a 9″ kitchen fork. Anything else is overkill.

Just sayin’

POST FATHER”S DAY ADDENDUM: I just had to add this. Not just big tools, but Three Musketeers-worthy tools! Don’t you hate it when the BBQ singes off those few knuckle hairs that didn’t get worn off on the floor?

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