Another week, another strange oatmeal additive. I was up to Huckleberry’s again this week. It’s an expensive place to shop, but the key to getting out of there with your inheritance intact is to only use a shopping basket, never a shopping cart. When the basket is full, you’ve reached your fiduciary limit. This week I bought a bottle of soy-free vanilla-flavored cultured coconut milk…. beverage. It contains probiotics. It contains prebiotics. It tastes like postbiotics. Almost, but not quite, totally unlike coconut milk. I’m drinking it a small glass at a time when I take my meds. I think it would go well with dwarf-bread.

I also tried it in oatmeal, as who wouldn’t? About a quarter cup to a cup of plain water. I knew it would have some flavor issues, in much the same way that Germany and the Soviet Union had some issues over the location of border posts 72 years ago. To offset that, I added a half measuring spoon of hot chocolate powder.

Setup: 1/3 cup of stone ground rolled oats, two dinner teaspoons of potato flakes, one cup of water, little bit of salt. A quarter cup of coconut-like beverage. A half tablespoon of chocolate.  Cook for 10 minutes or so, depending on the exact style of oats.  Add the potato when you take it off the stove.

Results: Tastes like chocolate-flavored postbiotics. The reason I never order hot chocolate in a restaurant is that it always tastes like ten unexpected guests arrived, and they had to thin it out. That watery taste prevailed here. On the good side, he said, frantically trying to find something positive, it didn’t taste overly of oatmeal. Not inedible, but an experiment we don’t have to run again.

Rating: *****


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