TL:DR — Anime I never finished, Spring 2014

I took a quick scan through this Spring’s crop of anime. Many, I could reject based on the program description alone. Some seemed worth watching….janai.

Black Bullet: You can just see the production crew sitting around, naming their favorite anime of the past, and arguing what parts of them to clip out and include here. Virus turns people into monsters, ignoring things like conservation of mass and structural engineering. Monsters are hunted by plucky independent company run by incompetent former highschool classmates. Plucky independent company monster hunters include former high school boy and his extremely loli love interest. Former high school boy and his extremely loli love interest encounter laughing-man-masked human who plans to conquer the world, using a virus. Oh, yeah — there are special bullets.

JoJo’s Bizzare Adventure: Murdering slob accidentally saves the life of a Victorian-era rich man and his son. Rich man promises to reward him, but seems to have let that idea slip for the next sixteen years or so. Murdering slob dies and his beautiful-but-evil son goes to live with the rich man and his gentlemanly-but-inept son. They welcome him with open arms, not realizing that the poor are not like the rest of us, Ernest. He starts off by kicking their dog, and promising to take over the household. There appears to be a mask involved. For some reason, the first season was wildly popular. From my standpoint it would probably work better as a Masterpiece Theater series, or maybe an HBO special.

Blade and Soul: Medieval setting, with guns. Protag is taciturn, emotionless, female warrior with a butterfly tattoo on her armpit and the ability to deflect bullets with her knives. She arrives at a small village, which is threatened by the Evil Empire (said empire has also offered a large bounty for the capture of The Girl with the Butterfly Tattoo). The village hires her to do a Magnificent Seven against the imperial threat. She grunts agreement, not bothering to explain the meaning of the word empire, and why God is on the side of the big battalions. The inevitable happens, so she leaves the burning village and heads for someplace with more opportunity and fewer ignition sources. The program gives off a vibe like Grenadier, without the on-the-bounce reloads. Characters are unlikable, story is uncompelling, and Miss Butterfly has a habit of wandering around in sleeveless outfits, wondering why everyone is attacking her — if she wasn’t so fastidious about grooming, people would just think it was a moth and stop bothering her. So far, nobody is wearing a mask.




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