TL;DR — Anime I never finished, Summer 2014

My anime list has been bouncing up and down like a World Cup football. At first, I thought there were 4 or 5 that looked good. Then, I swung all the way up to 15 or 16, based on other people’s initial reviews. I may have been right the first time.

First thing to go — Robots!

Aldnoah Zero — Earth-descended Martians (don’t ask, it was the Moon’s fault) invade the mother planet in giant combat robots. Allusia, a Princess of Mars is thought to have been assassinated by Terran terrorists. Except it was actually a false flag operation, organized at the behest of the Master Mind of Mars, Count Kurūteo, by rebellious Warlords of Mars as a causus belli — just in time for SarajevoFest. Except that she’s not really dead, it was a stunt double, and now (accompanied by Thuvia Ederurizzo, Maid of Mars) she’s the Maguffin. Martian robots have this surface field thingy, that destroys things that touch it, which means it stops bullets, and slices through buildings just by leaning on them (adds a whole new meaning to the phrase cutting corners), and roads just by stomping on them. They don’t say how it keeps from going in up to its knees every time it takes a step. Meanwhile, the Terran battlebots have to make do with older weapons

 

Fangs out and brains in the helmet bag

Fangs out and brains in the helmet bag

Argevollen — The peaceful country of Ingelmia is invaded by warlike Arandians, who break through the Maginot Line of Ingelmania with giant combat robots. Everything is falling apart, when a rebellious soldier finds a cute girl, with glasses, operating a big transport truck, with a giant combat robot, the way cute, glasses-wearing girls are wont to do. He jumps into the robot, which looks suspiciously like something out of Evangelion, finds it responds to his mere thoughts and inclinations, and starts beating up on the ‘Randy robots. This being anime, I’m surprised it didn’t start chasing meganegirl. Meanwhile, the rest of the troops have to depend on older weapons

Are you sure this is the peak of robot development?

Nothing for me to be envious about

 

M3: The Dark Metal (It’s from Spring, but I didn’t find it on Daisuke until this week.)– The peaceful city of Kawadahara is invaded every night by the human-derived Admonitions and must be protected by high school students driving, you guessed it, giant combat robots.  Meanwhile, …

Nothing like a blunt instrument when you're engaged in the dark

Nothing like a blunt instrument when you’re engaged in the dark

 

Thinking about it, there’s two problems with building battlebots in real life. First, physics. They’re unstable (just like humans), and have many single-point-of-failure features (just like humans). Of course, no-one in anime would ever think of sneaking up close and shooting one in the back of the knee, or the ankle, or pulling the old エヲク – ログ attack. The second problem is human. If a human does a duck-and-weave, their head moves maybe a foot. A thirty foot tall robot jerks its head (and its pilot) five or six feet. And sitting in the cockpit while a battlebot runs into battle is like sitting in a box that’s being attacked by a two-hammered blacksmith while being dragged downstairs. Thud-thud-Thud-thud. I was on the verge of a mild headache after every one of these shows.

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2 Responses to “TL;DR — Anime I never finished, Summer 2014”

  1. John Shervais Says:

    “M3: The Dark Metal (It’s from Spring, but I didn’t find it on Daisuke until this week.)– The peaceful city of Kawadahara is invaded every night by the human-derived Admonitions and must be protected by high school students driving, you guessed it, giant combat robots. Meanwhile, …”

    You mean, like the Admonitions of Marcus Aurelius? They were harassed by wise-sayings?

    John Shervais 379 The Boulevard Logan, Utah 84321

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