Iceberg runs aground in Egypt

It’s a well-known fact that Libya is running short of water. Recently, they attempted to solve this problem by moving a large iceberg from Antarctica to use a source of drinking water. Unfortunately, shortly after the iceberg transited the Suez Canal, an errant gust of wind forced it to run aground in northern Egypt.

Currently, Egypt and Libya are negotiating over the cost of melting the iceberg in place and piping the water overland to eastern Libya. More details may be found in an upcoming Discovery Channel special.

Astrophysicists discover the name of the universe

Recent research into the changing structure of the Universe, from the time it started with the Big Bang up until now, has allowed astrophysicists to determine its name.

See, the Universe that was created by the Big Bang was very small — small enough that it’s original name was “BB”. But as it expanded into nothingness, as more empty space intervened, it became “BOB”, which it is today.

Welcome to Universe BOB.

Of course, many billions of years from now, it will expand even more, and we’ll have to change the name again.

How long has this been going on?

All professors complain about students slacking off in class. Most students don’t. Many do. There’s even a electrophoretic distribution across the seating chart. The Hermione Grangers all sit up front. Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, they pay attention, take notes and ask good questions. Back in the back are those don’t care, don’t want to be there, and aren’t real sure why their parents are making them go. They all have their laptops open (I’m following your lecture slides, prof, and I need to sit back here because that’s where the power plugs are.) Those are the ones who look at their screens and laugh when I haven’t made a joke. In the middle are the ones who are texting on their phones. I know who they are because they are staring at their crotches and smiling.

There’s a body of opinion that we are seeing the results of the electrification of our lives. Everybody lives for their instagram, pinterest, and facebook fix. It’s a 21st Century phenomenon. Maybe not.

Here’s a 14th Century drawing of an academic lecture. Note the distribution of attention: eager students in front, disinterested students in back. Student at the end of the second row consulting their Kindle.

Picture taken from a tweet posted by Stuart Wrigley 

The archaeology of the Trump dynasty

“Discovered in 2084 beneath the ruins of the American Democracy, the “Altar of Trumpism” seen here. was considered the jewel of the Trump Building Program. Originally designed as the spot at which Republicans would sacrifice true conservatism, adherence to the law, and personal decency in exchange for short-term political gain, it came to be used for the ritual slaughter of legislators….”

Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

Beyond the Mountains of Madness

Probing into one of the most inaccessible parts of Antarctica, in an un-named part of the continent described only as being “beyond the Mountains of Madness”, a privately-funded expedition from Miskatonic University has discovered what the explorers describe as the remnants of an early civilization, one that appears to be related to ancient Egypt. The region is shrouded in perpetual cloud and fog, and most of the complex is encased in thousands of feet of snow and ice, but one structure, a pyramid ten times larger than the Great Pyramid of Kufu, was accessible through a great stone passage near the top.

The pyramids of Antarctica

There has long been a controversy over whether the civilization of ancient Egypt was able to colonise locations as far away as Mexico and Ceylon, or if civilization was imposed on Egypt and elsewhere by a more advanced race, originating in an unknown location. This new find may cast light on that controversy.

Passions have run high on the topic, and there have already been attempts to undermine the Miskatonic work by labelling the pictures a hoax, not taken in Antarctica.

Before contact with the expedition was lost, the leader said they had opened the passage, and inside found “wonderful things”.

For a good time

There’s still time to rent a van for tonight

 

Mr. Lincoln’s Computers

Rare photo shows Mary Todd Lincoln turning the crank on an early information storage system, used to hold the Confederate Order of Battle Operations Listing. It’s a well-known fact that, given their constantly changing brigade structure and penchant for naming units after (often short-lived) commanders, even the Confederate generals were not always sure how many men they had in the field. Abraham Lincoln reportedly said that, thanks to these machines, the Union usually had a better idea than the Confederates.

Lincoln also credited his computers, as the girls who cranked the handles were called, for helping break a number of Confederate codes. “We never would have figured out how tightly they wound their paper strips around the coding pencils without the help of these fine women”, he said. Other triumphs included determining exactly which edition of Ivanhoe the Confederate government used as the basis for their unbreakable ‘book codes’.

Rain Shadow Effect

The Pacific northwest is a good example of the rain shadow effect. Wet winds sweep in from the ocean, are pushed up by the mountains, and drop all their rain. Land in the shadow of the mountains remains dry.

This effect can be seen elsewhere in the world. Here we see a green area, where the westerly winds are pushed up by the high ground. Land to the east is dry.

The rain shadow effect in Egypt